I am caught in a pattern
and I am having a very bad day.
A very bad day.
Everything looks hopeless.
I am so sick of doing this AGAIN.
I AM IN PAIN.
When will I ever heal?
Here’s the story:
I loved this guy.
(oh. so many patterns
in the relationship arena.)
Yep, I loved him with all of my being.
Sounds good, right??
But the problem came in
when I fell into my pattern
of “it’s not who I am, but rather what I do”
that I bring to the relationship.
I didn’t bring the “being” me,
I brought the “doing” me, the worker bee.
Isn’t that how someone loves you back?
Isn’t that how you prove yourself?
Do. Do. Do.
Well, somewhere in all of this doing,
we forgot to take walks,
we forgot to hold hands,
we forget to enjoy each other.
Do. Do. Do.
We forgot to laugh.
We forgot to share stories of the day.
We just forgot.
And so, right on cue, he fell into his pattern.
He needs romance, and he found another.
Now I need to spend time with me
and become aware of my beliefs
that keep me in this behavior.
I need to reconnect with me.
I’m miserable. it’s time to look at my shadows.
I want to heal.
I really do.
This is my conscious choice.
The signs of the patterns
were always there,
I just didn’t want to see them.
I’m ready now.